Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Did I sign up for this?

Who says,"Yeah I want to wake up  in a house with children ALONE!" Who signs up to struggle everyday working to pay bills and not see the children that you work so hard to support? Who signs up to hope that you make just enough to make the rent but not enough so that you still receive some type of government assistance. Who loves the lonely feeling that creeps over you as you try to clear the lump in your throat as you look into these innocent eyes that feel left and unloved. It ALWAYS feels like your fault! ALWAYS! How many ,"No's", do you hand out because there is no check showing up at the first of the month from daddy. How may doctors appointments and countless school activities are enjoyed solo? Television cannot sum up this feeling of "empty" that is the word,"single Mother!" THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!! Babies don't get here alone by a miracle. There needs to be a vaccine for this epidemic. I am tired of hearing that speech about how mom made the difference cause she struggled to do it for us all alone!!!! There should not be a "struggle".

I am done.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Never say never

I closed my eyes and there it was

The thing I said I could and should do without

I let myself forget 

I stopped breathing

It was too hard to admit that I missed that part of me

I thought I was over it

Feelings buried under feelings 

let it go

never say never